sneeze pees

So, peeing your pants … Have you done it? Raise your hand if so… Yep, me too. 

No, I am not talking about when you were little… I am talking full-on grown-up peeing your pants. Gross right? Well… welcome to pregnancy.

Anyone who knows me knows I have a tiny bladder. My sister and I would always joke about how when I got pregnant one day, I would be that pregnant lady who had to carry around extra undies in her purse because I would pee my pants everyday…. wellllll…. hi! I am Felicia and I had literally ALWAYS peed my pants when I was pregnant.

No, I am not talking about full-on pees where I am releasing my entire bladder in my pants (you sickos for thinking that) but yes, I had slight tinkles on a daily basis and it is literally the most annoying thing in the entire world.

When I got pregnant, it literally felt like overnight I had to excessively pee. It got to the point where I would avoid drinking anything just so I wouldn’t spend my entire day on the toilet (spoiler alert: it didn’t work). Like at the beginning (months 1-4) it was about once or twice an hour which was incredibly annoying and lord knows it only got worse from there as the months proceeded.

It felt like the day I turned 6 months pregnant and I would literally pee, get back to my desk and already have to pee again :\. But the worst worst worst ones are every single time I sneeze or cough — I pee… literally EVERY SINGLE DAMN TIME. For my second pregnancy, it seems like everytime I cough (I have the WORST silent reflux and cough from acid) I pee a little. Cool... maybe my next pregnancy, I will be smart and just wear diapers?

I would be on my way to the bathroom, a surprise sneeze would happen and my husband would hear “oh damn it” and he just knew. Honestly my girls, your pride literally goes out the window once you are pregnant. Don’t even try to hide every aspect from your hubs because he will eventually find out. A girl can only pee her pants so many times before he notices. Still to this dayit’s still an ongoing joke and my entire family has a wonderful time making fun of me, but if I can’t laugh at myself then I am doing it wrong... and I am on my second pregnancy... they are still talking about the first one.

Alot of the time if we were laughing too hard, especially if I was standing up, I’d have to squeeze my legs together as hard as I could so I wouldn’t be my pants, which, in turn, would make everyone, myself included, laugh more. It was an ongoing struggle and ultimately never stopped. I think had I not had a c-section I probably would still be struggling with this all the time. I don’t think it has continued for me because I don’t notice it but I a sure one day it will just happen again.

But as the famous Billy Madison once said, “If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.”

Have a wonderful day my little pregnant pant-wetters, don’t deny it, I am on to you.

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